While the flow has not ceased or stemmed, it has turned down a different channel. I am thinking, writing, living more in a peaceful state of mind and emotion. I am also compelled entirely to continue exploring and growing in the Gifts around and in me. All of these changes are processes. Thus the quiet spells. Resting in God.
Time to assimilate the new ways. To break old habits and to foster new healthy ways of thinking, acting, obeying the Call on my life. I am doing an enormous amount of quiet listening these days! And that is a good thing! Through meditation I have learned to quiet my mind and how to travel to new galaxies of Possibilities. There is so much excitement in the air with Spring and in my heart with anticipation. Already my Intentions for 2011 are gaining altitude and I am feeling very strong in my progress.
Letting go is still an ongoing process. I have a goal of consolidating all of my storage into one small unit in Central Florida. Yes, it is possible that the notes from my daughter's first grade may not make it in the reduced space. This is hard for me. Even painful. What a waste of money, though, to pay to store paper or things that no one has touched, looked at or used in years, even decades.
Another letting go is of people. The past 6 months I began to cull my contacts list. Occasionally, I still search my phone or email list, thinking to re-connect with someone. Only to discover, that I let them go. There was a reason at the time. I am a forgiving soul though, so it is not often a burned bridge. Just a new avenue for me. Life is too short to live it in pain, fear, or neglect. And I am moving forward with the best of my days still ahead. Full, pressed down, running over with fountains of love, gratitude, and forgiveness.
One of the last Kundalini classes of 2010 called upon us to set our Intentions for the new year. Suggestions were made of what types of things people might decide. My specific set of Intentions did not get a voice in class. But in the Spirit, I clearly heard the direction and calling being placed on my life for that current moment and onward to the near future.
A specific one was "FEARLESSNESS". When I told a female friend this, she objected, "No fair! You already have no fear! You jump out of airplanes. I wish I was like you, afraid of nothing." While this made me smile, it also hurts a bit. See? I look up to my friend. I am learning how we each draw on the strengths and energy of others. Community, family, friends, network is so vital. Since this conversation? I have lured her out to a moonlight kayaking trip. Her very first!
For me, though, it isn't fear of external elements. There are things I do not like to do. Snow skiing for instance. I learned my lesson on the bunny slope when I corkscrewed my knee, lol. Seriously though, my fears and Intention to address and declaw these fears are of people. Love. Relationships. Matters of soul and of heart. That is opening like a gorgeous lily even as I type, and for this I am so grateful and humbled.
Letting people of all sizes, shapes, races, genders, religions, etc in near my world. Few are invited into the secret room of my deepest heart yet. But the year is young. I will always have progress that I can make.
Whether it is someone I met as a child, a youth, a family, or as a single being, I am blessed with good friends. There are those that lift my spirits and dreams higher just by being in them. By their support and cheering me on. By listening. By letting me give, and letting me take. There are faithful warriors and there are new faces. The blessing is that I am becoming able to let this richness in to my trust and hopes again. You'd have to know me, to get this in the spirit it is intended.
Do you still see a bare, winterized tree occasionally? Look twice. I see the green hope coursing throughout. New growth. Hope and victory over sleep.
As an avid motorcyclist, I chafe at 18 wheels, even at 4 wheels. I feel this strong desire at this time of year to ride hard and fast, letting the wind and the rain blow the cobwebs out of my head. As I drive in my rig over interstates in the South, the great descent has begun of bikes heading to Daytona Bike Week. The yearning in me kicks into overdrive. LOOK TWICE!! Save a a life!!! Share the road!
I can FEEL this glow shimmering around me! It is of light, of hope, of joy, and of appreciation in the beauty ever present and waiting to be embraced! It is in moments of peace, of deeply inhaling the clear air and of sincere inspiration that I lean in closer to hear the voice of God, of Earth, and of all that would speak motivation and love and presence.
Learning new ways to let a day go. Let a judgement go, usually of myself. To begin the night in peace and set up for sweet dreams and healing, regeneration and restoration. Beginning to look forward to waking up, not in pain of body or heart, but in wonder and excitement of soul and mind.
I am challenging myself today to honor my progress, be gentle with my process, to enjoy the journey, to love without restrictions, and to look twice- embracing Change, Letting Go, and living Fearlessly.
Sincere gratitude and blessings,
Jan M. Olsen
~J~
