Do I Gotta?

Really??????  Nap in the broad daylight??? Cerulean skies with seven minute frosting clouds? Mild 70's?

Because I made a choice that remained TRUE to who I am? Well, now I am going to be driving 10pm-0800 Jax to Miami. It's a familiar run. But I slept less than 4 hours last night due to pain, and have been up, in pain, all day.

I suppose I could have slid backwards a wee bit, departed a short while from who I am integrally.  What do I mean?

In order to make my trip to Colorado, and to have extra money to spend on my daughter and grandson, I stayed out OTR the weekend prior to my trip. So far, I have missed two weeks of being in Sunday school and 2 services each Sunday at POCC.

God is everywhere. In me. Around me. Through me.

But the people that love me, that support me, that unconditionally accept me  - they are in SoFL at the Pentecostals of Cooper City. 

Many times, I am brave and independant. But if I am REAL to who I am?? My support network is at POCC.

So, see? I really couldn't accept load offers that took me north, or west this late in the week.  I need to work up and down the state of Florida and stay within my region. This was a short work week for me to begin with. Even if the truck hadn't broken down?  To begin to drive on Tuesday would be less miles than usual.

I counted that in as my Opportunity Cost when I made my vacation plans.  When I ran my ideas by Pastor Hattabaugh, and then by Alisha, I knew I would miss two weekends at "home".

A third?  No.  I need to forsake not the assembling together. It's part of who I am,, deep inside.

My batteries need recharged.  My tank needs refilled.  I need my "family" and those that love me, even when I screw up so royally and cause great harm,,, they simply love me still.

Here I am, with a load assignment to Miami for tonight.  I will be able to go by and check on the security of my car at my hiding place. I will be able to take extra clothes, my suitcase, extra book, photos off my cramped and currently over-stuffed jail cell, I mean semi truck.  Either put them in my car for now, or ideally, make a run to my storage unit.

I am grateful for this load, for the work, at last.  I am grumbly about having to take a nap and waste this lovely day. Ahhhhhh,,,,,, perhaps I will dream something sweet and encouraging?

Goodnight, way  WAAAAYYY early. By the time I am stirring again to begin my work day, most people will be going to bed themselves.

Making myself yawn to feign sleepiness ;-)
Jan M. Olsen
~J~