Sing With Me, "How Great Is Our God"

Today was a prime example of being reminded full on just how O-O-O God is.  Many of you know me, and remember that is one of my favorite  truths of God- Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient.

Time = a temporal length of event or entity's existence (http://www.thesaurus.com/)

Some of the reminders came from words, well-timed, carefully chosen, and steadfastly presented in emails, comments, texts and conversations.  All of these communication require a sender and a receiver. Perfect timing. Often days in between the orginal and the reply, yet on time, each and every time.  Time :)

Twice today alone, the brad was tacked into my heart by God himself, moving my 80,000 pound truck in JUST THE NICK OF TIME. Twice, vehicles illegally merged into my path. Both times, the instinct to save them, caused me to swerve and fishtail. Both times, vehicles in the next lane to my left also had to readjust.  Each time, the merging offender glared balefully at me even though I am  "Slower Traffic In The Right Lane".  Sigh.... my pet peeve. TWICE!

I also received glad tidings from my youngest daughter.  The new baby is a boy!!!  Young Abraham Anton Johnson should make his appearance into our world approximately July 5, 2011. His big brother, Jeremiah Alon Johnson, will be about 16 months old.  Mom and baby are doing great thus far!

Alisha gave me the go ahead to  shout it out and tell family members and friends!  My first was a text message blitz. The next was to call my Mom & Dad.  Later, I called Michael too. A very few emails and then a FB blast!

It is very painful talking to my Mom. What ,,,, ahhh, I don't even know how to say it. I want to just love her, forgive her, and go on loving her even if unreturned.  But it is hard. I'm a big girl, this shouldn't be bugging me still, but it is.

Hurt today by people, my body weary of the struggle to survive.

Then, as my life opens up to new people? New risks. Today, especially, I am very raw and in need of clarity and respite.

People. Ideas. New ways. Old paths. Soveriegn God.

Weak Jan.

Always loathing my weakness.

So, this is it. Closing this in pain of the heart and mind tonight. In need of alone time with God and Him alone. No one else can fill the void within me ...

So the blessing of today, is that I drove many many miles, to arrive at the receiver at 7:30pm Tuesday for an appointment at 0700, Wednesday.  I am first in the gate. They will take me in at 0300.  In Weston, FL, just 5 minutes from my car and old apartment.

Away from resteraunts, people, other cars, I am parked under an old oak tree, dripping with the ancient Spanish moss of my childhood.  It is no accident that I am here alone, safe. Time carved out for me and God, face to face.

I do not have the heart to sing tonight to anyone or anything. But I will.  It is called a sacrifice of praise. For tonight, I feel even more unworthy than usual. But God knows all. Is all powerful. And is everywhere.  How great is our God.

Jan M. Olsen
~J~