Entertaining Angels Unawares

This blog will be hard to write through grateful, humbled tears. I don't know where to begin, except to say that just a moment ago I was graced to meet an angel unawares. Her name was Mary Jane and is she is at least 70 years old living in "the shanty by the tracks". We met today when I bought her an additional $20 in gasoline.   I wish to tell her story, not to highlight my role in today, but rather to encourage anyone who reads to take the chance, who knows when it is your turn to meet an angel face to face.

My work has been frustrating since they put in the electronic logs called People Net. It records in real time and silly things, mundane chores, unexpected opportunities eat at the available work time.  It seems I run hard to a destination, only to be left sitting on either end, waiting on others to do their work. Trucking is a choreographed dance with many performers. I try to take it in stride and be thankful to have such an excellent job, wonderful income potential and the chances to partake in people, places, and things of our entire USA.

Monday was more of the same.  After a nailbiting weekend of one problem after another, I made an on time delivery and was left cooling my heels in the middle of the day.  I wasn't tired enough to sleep in midday. So I did laundry, shopped, and tried later to nap.  Then at 11pm, I began a shift of driving. Again, arrived on time in Westerville, OK.  This time, I specifically requested to go wait on my next load back in Arkansas where I could get a shower at a truck stop.

My Fleet Manager, Joe, kept saying wait,,, wait,,, wait... and I will admit, I was a pain about it.  In one moment, I was praying to God to ask him to keep control of my every detail, he knows the plans he has for me, he is saving me for something.  On the other hand, I watched the countdown on the PeopleNet clock and chafed, and whined and emailed and called.   With only 10 minute left on my legal DOT clock, Joe calls me with a load that picks up in Arkansas, 45 minutes away.  What can I do?  Get up, wash my hands and face and settle in to finish my 10 hour break exactly in the dumpy truck lot I am parked.  No shower, microwave hotpockets, grey day.... just bummed.

Now, I have napped and can't sleep.  I go inside the store, and walk the lap around it again, still disgusted with the selections. I ask the clerk for the nearest hotel, I would PAY for a shower... They are all too far away.

As I walk out, I glance at the gasoline pumps.  Immediately I am arrested in my tracks.  There is an elderly woman, in shabby clothes, bent almost in half, shuffling around the back of a Ford Taraus from the 1990's.  As she makes her way to the store,, she looks sideways at me. I can see one dollar bills, held tight in her fist as she painfully makes her way into the store with her cane.  She says hello, I reply.  She says, "Well I am better today than I was yesterday so it is a good day."

YES!!!  I was struck to my very core with remorse for my whining and mental complaining!!!  I knew in an instant what God wanted me to do.  I followed her in side and (tears),,,, watched her count out FIVE one dollar bills to pay for her gasoline.

FIVE DOLLARS AT TODAY"S PUMP PRICES....  I who have hundreds weekly, and thousands at times,,, observed as this dear elder counted out five single one dollar bills. I motioned to the cashier to let me listen.  The lady said, "this will get me around in town for a little bit, I hope."

As soon as she went out the door on that tortured walk back to her car, I pulled out my bank card and told the cashier to charge me $20 on gas NOW!  I told her, "I don't know how she's going to take it and I didn't want her to refuse. So charge me. NOW!"

I went outside, and told the lady I need to pump her some more gas.  She said I didn't need to to do that. I told her that I already had it paid for, I was just asking permission to touch her car to pump it in.  Here is where I was blessed and nearly driven to my knees. She came around the tail of the car and stood with me as I pumped.  Now, it is grey, under 40 degrees, excrutiatingly bone-chilling cold winds... and she asked me where I live.  I pointed to my truck. I told her I was kinda stranded today waiting on a load to be ready Wednesday morning in Arkansas. She began to tell me her story. She lives in the next town over,, which is a good 10 miles away on my GPS.  She uses the car for doctors appointments. "Sometimes, if I call 2 days early, they will send someone out to pick me up."

Everyone knows someone who is  a truck driver.  Her nephew drove, until he had a liver transplant and was out of work 5 years.  As the fuel transfer ended, she asked me my name.  Then she told me hers is Mary Jane and that she lives in the "shanty by the tracks".  I can only imagine.

I went back inside the store to sign my credit slip. The cashier wanted to talk about what a nice thing I had done.  I pushed her aside.  Instead, I wanted her to know, there is a REAL LIVE WOMAN inside that bent, shabby exterior.  She lives here. Walks among us.  We are all connected. 

One of the things I did while I was pouting and clock watching and napping today was stop. Deliberately breathe 3 times.  Think about the choice that I had.  Became very aware of my breath, and my attitudes.  I keep a small handful of motivational books, music, and podcasts on hand that I cycle through to remind me of why I am here on the Earth and this exact moment.  It is so I can be fully PRESENT right here, right now.  Live the moment I am in with beautiful joy, love, gratitude, and forgiveness.  To help a brother or a sister along their way, sharing the burden of their Journey, to be sure they make it onward.

Mary Jane taught me so much in our brief 5-10 minutes together.  I had been being ungrateful, unyielding, unforgiving, and rude in my head, in my thoughts, in my communications with work. Even in my prayers, I had been me- me- me.

Every event of today, and days previous, led me to this one crux. To meet and assist Mary Jane.  To reach out, and give her a smile for the rest of her day. To free her from a worry.  To share her load.

I am ashamed I was so tense about my work situation.  The repetitions of the 3 breath pattern and being deliberate to choose my next thought or attitude had reminded me of why I am here.

To give. To serve. To love. To lift. To share.

Mary Jane? Thank you, Ma'am. I am so blessed to make your acquaintence.  The pleasure is all mine.

Listening to the voices of the angels,
Jan M. Olsen
~J~