When I Don't Know What To Say....

.....  it doesn't mean I have it all together or am at peace. 

Although, that being the gut honesty of it all?  I am still kicking furiously to stay afloat. So far, it is working.  I am here again today.

Until yesterday, I had been thoroughly enjoying a season of peace, quiet, blessings, and gratitude.  I had begun to test out the ideas of letting love in or out of me.  Concerned now that I had grown lulled and complacent, I trusted "Life" with too much of me. Will I ever learn? Seems not.

Yesterday I was assailed boom - boom- BOOM with input.  JCT/ HAEI/ Stevens/ FFE ,,,, and JayJ.

Yeah, that's right. THAT JayJ. 

 Finally, I had taken all the hits I could absorb, closed the books on a very troubled day.  To unwind and try to let it all go, I drifted into the musical arms of Wayman Tisdale, smooth jazz.

However, when I went to bed after a long day at work, I had a physical ache in my chest.  Uncertainties, memories,  fears,,, in the middle of the night, I found myself rubbing my breastbone in great pain of an old broken bone.  I remembered a recent time when breathing was dangerous to my concealment, painful to my body, and not anything I wanted to continue,,, but like an ocean's tide it kept coming in, going out, coming in, going out.  I could only hold it back for so long, and the pent up fury of release was often more effort than if I had just let it be.  I know the terrors to be Mind Monsters, and I know I "failed" to take away their teeth.  Tired smile here.

Aware that opportunities present themselves when least expected, they may come with a tinge of fear.  That fear can be healthy, if it is just a sign that I am straining to stay with the Known.  I am well-acquainted with that kind of propulsion fuel to move into new dimensions and unchartered Possibilities.

 This Present Fear is a forfeiture of my safety in the  physical or emotional.  I am being hunted like an animal. A strong word for that is stalked, and here I go again, making excuses for being here in the first place.

Today, the Present, I am stopped at a dead standstill.  I admit it, I use work to numb me out, and just keep going.  Often, it's easier to apply the 20 minute, 20 year rule that way.  Truck drivers earn money by miles driven, not sitting due to poor driver utilization.  Yes, I think too much, too deep 24/7 but it is extra hyperdrive when I am just sitting!

Then again, do I trust God as I think I do???  Does he have me in his view, his hands, and his plans? Or not?  Days like today make me walk the talk .  It IS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY!!!  It's about sitting in BFE with nothing to do, no good reason to sit here, just GROUNDED like an errant child!  Not because of truck or driver issues, but because my company failed to plan to use my truck and driver resources with any competency at all.  The places I might visit on a day off are unavailable to my 70ft combination vehicle. I am just STUCK!  And obviously I am grumpy about it!

I must say, even grouchy as I am today, God uses unusual media to whisper to my spirit.  Text messages TODAY from a lady with 4 kids that has lost her job and is  going though a divorce, puts me in my whiny place.  I am blessed.  Flip the coin, and JayJ texted me again and has inserted himself in my work and daily living to tell me where I should live, work, play.

Just when I am ready to turn my phone off to tune out the bad influences?

A Facebook friend and mentor, Matt Maddix, posts out of the blue "The longer I travel this journey, the more that I value quiet and thinking time. God usually will speak when we are still." #mattmaddixmotivations.


  I realize that I am so accustomed to self-made constant fire and ice motion in my life, that I was basically just told by God and his ambassador to "sit down and shut up"... God wants to speak.

A moment later, another Facebook friend, Tim Janis posts a photo he took today of his cat, Reno, taking time to smell the lilacs.  And I am chastened again, to STOP.

Stop moving. Stop thinking.  Stop complaining.  Stop planning.

 Stop trying to make E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G make sense. 

As another friend taught me in recent months, "Let it go. Rest.  The greatest thing God created was the day of rest."  My humble gratitude here.

Time for the best quote of all, God himself speaking in HIS word:  2 Corinthians 13:1
 This [is] the third [time] I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.

I can hear the Verizon guy quipping "Can you hear me now????"

The surprising turn of events and contacts has me feeling like a bug must as his hiney goes through his ears as he hits my windshield.  Amazing, how a mood can turn from top of the world, to fear or black mistrust of Life in a snap or a text.

I do have a choice, though.  I can stay here.  Or I can face this moment, just as it presents itself.  Stay with it.  Feel and experience it all. The trick is to not STAY there, in pain, but after identifying and processing it, to CHOOSE to shift and direct myself back to what inspires, heals, loves and nurtures me.

I really was believing and liking all the recent love and light and peace.  This bad spot in the road can NOT be what is meant for me to accept.  It can only be a lesson.

So when I do not know what to say?  It is clear. It is time to say nothing at all.  Thank you Matt Maddix (and  4year old Phoebe).  I will be quiet in God.

Thank you, Tim Janis and Reno the feline teacher, I will be STILL and experience my Present Moment with all of my senses. I will enjoy God speaking to me with inaudible whispers of love and blessings.

I will CHOOSE to rest in God, in His safety, in his nourishment and seek Him while he may be found.  Staying Present and open, malleable to the Potter.

I will leave my heart and mind open as fallow ground to the Master Gardener, weeding out the distractions and pain.

I will choose to forgive. Again, I will forgive again. Then I will let go. I do not have to stay here. I can make today to pop with potential and possibilities.

Thankful for the brave influences of those that speak THEIR truth, never knowing where it affects another by imitation or emulation.

Already, the ache in my chest is of releasing my held breath, exhaling out the dusty cloud of pain and fear, and of relief to have stayed the course.  Love. Gratitude. Forgiveness.

When I don't know what to say?  God knows.

Quiet, still, listening,
Jan M. Olsen
~J~

When I Don't Know What To Say...

.... maybe nothing at all is best?  Then, it all just dies with me.

Today was coming at me from all sides. I am winding down with Wayman Tisdale, smooth jazz.  Something not many would understand.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RtZXFhQ02U&NR=1

JCT/Stevens/ FFE/ HAEI/

JayJ

Out of the blue all approached me today in one form or another.  Of them all?  Yeah. JayJ .... what now. No sanctuary.  It was all just a pretense of safety.

Just as freely as I have experienced love, light, and joy to flow,  the clench in my chest, the remembered pain of the bone there, the mention of his name has closed the door and I am back in the cave of pain and darkness.  The one where silence is my only hope of survival.

Blindsided. Just like old times.

I could ask why now? What does it matter? He is everywhere I go. And still claims me.

Suddenly weary, going straight to bed. 

I wanted to believe.  I really did.

If you can hear me now?

Dallas.
Jan M. Olsen
~J~

Hot Florida Days, Cool Me

WOW!!! I have to say that again, WOW!!

Earlier this week, I received a very gracious invitation to drop by into a friend's Florida vacation and family get- together. I promptly used my word prowess to convince work that I needed the weekend off duty for a "family reunion". Truth :)

As a truck driver, miles to a destination are relative. Some I get paid to perform. Some I pay to execute. My excitement affects my overall mood. This weekend, I enjoyed a bonanza of reunions from the full out surprise, to the carefully established. I stayed with my best friend Friday, Saturday and today, but only got to sit down to share a meal and fellowship today. She was out of town all weekend herself, giving me free rein of her home. That's love.

At least one of each - the friend I saw 2 weeks ago. The friends I saw sometime so far this year. The friends I saw 10 years ago. The friends I saw 25 years ago. The family I had yet to meet. The internet connection I nurtured 5 years and finally met in person today.

 

 

Blessed with free lodging and respite, I based out these visits out of Osceola County. My friends and their families were primarily in Polk and Lake Counties. From laughter that hurt my sides and made my face red, to those precious moments that catch your breath and skip your heart's beat, to the body's overflow of a teardrop's course, I travelled 600 miles IN MY CAR in 3 days to too many loving arms to mention.

Over 300 miles in my truck on Friday, and 700 miles coming up in my semi on Monday. Whew, a bit daunting.

I go from solitude in my truck, to two weekends in a row of full out LOVE and embraces. I am a bit soggy and squishy in the love department right now. Like sleep hours, do you ever wish you could bank the hugs up for a starless night?

Ever notice? People want to bless you. One of the first things they think of is to feed you. And trust me, home cooked meals, fellowship, and camaraderie are gifts! But to see as many friends as I did in the past three days? It felt like a Progressive dinner. Everyone wants to feed me, and feels offended if you just ate. LOL. People are just sweet like that. And it comes in waves, and very grateful for every presentation of Life's generousities. The dry and lonely periods are just as certain as the open arms moments. That is just the give and take of Life. In my Dad's wisdom, "Some days are just better'n others."

 

 

Sunday night after the Grand Finale seafood dinner with my best friend and her 12 year old daughter, Morgan, I  decided I would get more bang for my hours to drive home to Sunrise, FL and sleep in my truck tonight for a few hours before taking off to Birmingham, than if I tossed and fretted a few hours in the wonderful real bed at my BF house. This way, it is cooler driving (no car a/c), if I have car troubles, I have time to resolve them and not be late to work, and I think I can let my mental guard down at the end to REST better, knowing all I have to do is show up to work.

Sitting out by ponds, on patios and porches, by myself and with groups of people, extremely at ease and in my element, all five senses were innundated with the sensations of what one could only call "home". The crickets, owls, scented breezes, buzzing bugs, ebb and flow of conversations and of God- moments, cloud animals drifting, and Central Florida's omnipresent humidity just made the welcome of blanketing memories fill the tanks for the times ahead. Reminded of the oil lamps in the temples. Full, from the inside out, keep the lamps trimmed and burning.

Since many of the get togethers were of a "reunion" or meet and greet in nature, the same questions were asked over and over and over again. I could get tired of it. But, instead, I know that being a female truck driver holds a mystique, and it is my gift to the world to be able to put someone in the driver's seat to share my adventures and explorations. God gave me wings and wheels, I can pass it along. It is my joy to do so and I never weary of the questions and discoveries.

Last night though,surrounded in roomful of loving people, in a quiet moment where I was present, but it was not my turn to speak, I felt a peaceful knowing go through my marrow. No one asked me this one question all weekend, but I came away with a self-knowledge.

I am cool with me.


I am comfortable in my own skin.


I am WHOLE.

The recent years when I was unhappy or pressed down? That was the foreign land to me. My personal normal is to be ON FIRE for life and for God. To have been given multiple second chances? To have been demonstrated mercy and grace from God and his ambassadors here on the earthly realm? These love offerings fueled my resident fires.

At my lowest points in the past few years, I may have been nearly extiguished. A smoking flax He will not put out, nor will he break the tender, bruised reed. (paraphrased) But inside me smoldered my passions, my calling, the reason for it all!

To have been reborn and stirred anew is invigorating!

The days may be hot, but I am one cool lion. And I feel a serious R-O-A-R coming on. Lookout!

One provoked lamb,

Jan M. Olsen

~J~

I tried to sum my heart's view point up on Facebook, but only those who were with me, get the full impact :

I love how we are all connected. Sometimes, there is a heart bond. It's alot like the warmth that family brings into your spirit. An acceptance and a Knowing. A place of safety, love, and stability. This can be from blood relations or those wonderful souls that graft you in. Being back in my hometown area of Polk County has been a flood of love and joy. My cup runneth over. So blessed.

Manifest

As we set out on this journey, Lets obey the call from the heart of God,
  Let us Love at any cost, Draw back your bow let love go....

This week has been mellow in my attitudes and my work. Both have been slow to heat up. Not quite at a dead standstill, not running full tilt on  high octane either.  I attribute my laidback approach to my weekend of rest and of dancing.  I expended pent up energies that were roiling inside my gut when I gave it up to God and got real with Him in my own personal way.

Tonight at work, it could be said things were not going very well? Low miles, therefore little pay.  A late schedule to do the piddly run in, yet it ate up a full 16 hours. The pace was just turtle slow. Nothing was going wrong, it was just one of THOSE days.

May 17, 2011 is Alisha and Tony's 4th wedding anniversary.  I also have spent time with friends talking about God, his love, his other attributes. My mind works in song, and today was a prime example as the old reliable tunes became soundtracks to my thoughts.  Larry Graham's "One In A Million You" and "I Just Can't Stop Dancing", then Chicago "You're The Inspiration".

  As I come to relax in God, to rest in Him, I have love coursing into me, through me, and pouring out of me in many forms. Inspiration. Meditation. Prayers. Gifts. Service. Family. Friends. Strangers.

At Pentecostals of Cooper City, with my close friends on Saturday, at Your Big Picture Cafe I had people coming to me with touch, embrace, laughter, tears, the kindest words, and concerns.  If  I knew reuniting was so rewarding, perhaps I wouldn't stay away as long, hahahah.  Even people remote in location sent emails, texts, phone calls that can only be categorized as love offerings.   Care. Concern. Respect. Honor. Affection.  For every gift, I say THANK YOU!  You have no idea how much these meant to me!

Then I particpated in THREE services on Sunday. Two of them were at my church. One at the Cafe.  In each event, God made himself manifest. From visions, to revelations, to show of light and source,  to strength and heat, to visible spiritual manifestations of Gifts of the Spirit I was just surrounded in the loving atmosphere by God working, moving, interacting with his Creation.  I have been in a Discovery mode and it still creates awe and quietness to realize God in everything, everywhere, all-knowing, all-powerful.

Peace.  That is a word that begins to express my state of being right now.  Sated in Him.  Hungry for the things of God, the mind of God, to be in His presence again, to abide there.  I want to go higher, deeper, more fully into His plans and ways for me.  I want to be more like Him.

Tonight, while my work day ran slow? It put me in the path of another driver. I was downloading the older  song "Center Of The Mark" by 4Him, talking about letting love go, to others, letting love hit its mark, with God as the flow and source of all that is and will be.  This driver kept yammering at me next door.  Finally, I set it all down and turned to face him.  He must be in my path for a reason?

As it unfolded? I cued up a YouTube video, and then read to him from a book.  I gave him the book.  At the beginning, I asked if he was a reader? He said no, but he had a lady friend that was.  By the time I let him watch the video, and talked to him from the contents?  He was saying he wants to read it for himself now, if I will still let him have a copy.  He couldn't believe I was just going to GIVE HIM a copy, signed by the author.   Just as it passed into his truck from mine? His bills were ready, and he was free to go.  The dock door next to me stayed unoccupied the remainder of my PROTRACTED stay.

Timing.  Willing hearts and spirits.  Lives touched by God.

No, I did NOT have a bad day at work.  I went to work today to meet the driver named Terry, and show God to him, through example of the love God pours into me, via a book that is a WORK OF HEART from a friend, inspired of God.

Terry from Virginia is a simple fellow. No explanation made to him, but I know that God was made manifest through simple acts of kindness and service. Just as I received in abundance all weekend. It made runnels through me, and right back out into the never ending stream of God's love, grace, tenderness, and mercy.

To end my long, very profitable God day, I am going to sit in grateful meditation and prayers listening to Tom Ameen on the piano. And  give this day up to the cool night, andto  the God that holds me in his hands.

Goodnight,
Jan M. Olsen
~J~

The Center Of The Mark - 4 HIM
To Love God, love people
That's the center of the mark


In this life some things are bound to change
But one thing remains the same
We all need love


Time goes on, it moves like a hurricane
And through all the wind and rain
We all need love


As this world just keeps on turnin' round and round
There are treasures to be found
If we just let compassion lead the way
CHORUS

Draw back your bow, let love go
Shoot straight for the heart
With all of your might, set you sight
Take aim from the start
To love God, love people
That's the center of the mark


Every day, through what is and is to come
When all has been said and done
We all need love


So Jesus came, a gift from the heart of God
He gave us His life because
We all need love


And the love that death could not keep in the grave
Is alive in us today
So we must live to show the world the way
REPEAT CHORUS
BRIDGE
For the world is the target
And the arrow is the cross
As we set out on this journey
Lets obey the call from the heart of God
Let us Love at any cost

Draw back your bow let love go....

I Figured It Out

What is "it"?

Driving to a real, honest to goodness, true two day weekend off in an area where I am loved, nurtured, stimulated, accepted, welcomed and the closest to "home" this weary Road Warrior has ever felt, I was hit by a realization. Okay, a few realizations!  I quickly proclaimed one of them to a dear friend, knowing he would hear my YOP and KNOW what I meant instantly!

I NEED TO DANCE!! 

 DANCE FOR THE SHEER JOY OF BEING ALIVE! 

 WORSHIP TO GOD IN THE WAY HE CREATED ME.

  EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR HIM! 

 DANCE!  DANCE! DANCE!

  I also made a serious attempt to call, email, text and reach out to my list of friends, family, those that I mentor, to my work.... to all I could think of to be sure we are cool.  I wanted to make sure there are no hard feelings, no pressing needs, and that all my loved ones know EXACTLY how I love them dearly. 

It was hidden among the stuff of life.  The peace and rest my soul is so gravely in need of.  Some of the phone calls were funny. Some poignant. Some were mere duty.  A couple of them really lifted me higher and helped right my sailboat.  For this last?  I thank you Angel and Nanci.  You two helped me find perspective and balance tonight. Very grateful and loved right now.

Arriving at my Sunrise delivery two full hours EARLY, I am still bound to my truck until it is unloaded by the night shift.  This is giving me time to listen to a cd that I adore by Tom Ameen. The cd is named "Inner Peace" and has titles such as "Reflections","First Steps", "Solace", "Truth", "The Journey", "The Road Home" and is a piano and electric violin collection that washes my soul clean of the dusty pigpen cloud of STUFF.

 Blogger has been down a few days, and it is an ahhhhhhh feeling to just write loosely and surrender to the music and the magical healing powers my two outlets.  With a sigh, bordering on an exhausted sob, I am finally at a stopping place.  For the next two days, I get to "JUST BE" and relax into all God has for me, wherever that takes me, His timing.

 Perfect in its imperfection.

This is not to say anything has been bad.  I have just been pouring myself out in every way imaginable.  When the truck stops rumbling beneath me, I seem to feel a rush even to get to bed, get to sleep, NOW, so I can get back up and back into the fray immediately.  My waking moments, I am charging, expending.  Work, people, solutions, improvements, go go go.   And be sure, I am SO BLESSED to have a job I love, and people that look to me. I am but the least of these.

Anyway.... I have not shared this blog with my best friend.  There is a private reason for that separation.  Lately, I have been drawn closer to her again after a dry spell and when we connect, it is a balm to my heart, soul and mind.   I think everyone has one or two, or a few people that they have history with.  That they can simply relax into the moment and be grateful for a word, a look, a touch that bares no expectations or requirements, just be myself, in all of my strengths and weaknesses.

  If I needed to sleep, undisturbed until I wake up? And if that takes a full weekend?  I know I have that sanctuary with her. Sometimes, that Knowing is enough.

But by not sharing the blog, by us travelling different roads of Life, we needed at least the phone call we shared today.  Forty minutes of OMG! You Go Girl, and ABSOLUTELY!  How easy it is to relax into JUST BEING.

We caught up on the "days of our lives" and laughed, cried, loved.  How beautiful to share that CONNECTION and I am so grateful for the technology and electronics that make miles and minutes melt away.  I was lucky to spend a night at her house in this past month. Over the treasured seafood dinner, we sat near enough to touch, and I was able to express my heart regarding my Process, my search for my Passion, Purpose, my discoveries, and my healing.  AWESOME!!!  Heads inclined to one another, we shared testimonies and Life's Little Answers.

Tonight, when we discussed me, it was so I could vehemently declare that "I AM WHOLE"!!!  I just realized that this past week!!!!!   In the last quarter of 2010, I found my breath, made choices, and I was healed.  In the recent transitions of my family going their separate ways more fully, I found release again. 

It was during Angel's USF graduation that I noticed that I was a spectator, not a facilitator.  I was invited, but not consulted.  I was welcome, but not required.  I was free to come and go as I will, and not check in.  I was rewarded, but not responsible.

Until you have been in that moment?  You have no idea how LIBERATING this was to me!!!!   I will always be the ex-wife,  Mom,, and Nana J, etc.  Certainly, I am free to be my own person, and as long as I do not hurt another? I am free to try, to discover, to process, to accept, to fail, to triumph for MYSELF! 

I AM WHOLE!!!

(Oh yes!!! "I AM"!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Over the months of Process that writing, music, following my breath, praying, seeking, finding I have had such relief and feel such a release of the chains of traditions, prejudices, experiences that held me bound and subject for my life to this point. 

I AM FREE TO CHOOSE!!!

AMAZING!!!

A life of prior conditioning had me under the cloud of  the lie that I was less-than.... it is with observing the presents Life is setting before me, the courage to tug on the ribbon, and accepting what now sits before my wondering gaze, that I am trying new ways of taking great care of myself.

 It is just me now.  It is up to me to be good to myself.  To honor and be grateful to my body. To take care of it. To love it, and meet its needs. That falls under health, nourishment, rest, exercise, and tender loving care by way of touch, and concern for my well-being.   New grounds for me.  I pray for patience to follow this course with gratitude and grace that has been placed before me.

There is a change in the air!  An excitement!   My Passionate Purpose is to teach!  By obeying this, I am serving and giving to others in the full powers of my potential and abilities.  I see new doors in the hallway.  Eager to try a few.  Asking for courage to walk in when the doorknob turns in my hand. 

Ready now to observe a full two days of rest, recharge, restoration I am going to breathe in, then let go.

  Let go of my worries. Let go of control. Let go of the past. Let go of what is no longer serving me. Let go of fears. Let go of prejudices. Let go of judgements. Let go of concern of what other think or want for me.

  This is my life, my weekend.  I am ready to seize the Present gratefully and prepare for the gifts the Future brings.

And dance. 

Laugh.

Love.

Serve.

Sing.

Seek.

Discover.

Embarking in joy,
Jan M. Olsen
~J~

What An AWESOME Day Of Rest!

Today was finally THE day I had been hoping for!  I have worked non-stop, no direct days off duty for several weeks in a row!  I have been working out  of my region, and been exposed to all the Southern storm ravaged areas, extreme fluctuations of weather, off the interstate driving (GREAT in a car or on motorcycle, VERY nerve racking in an 18 wheeler!!!), semi truck break downs, family stress and many more personal areas that just kept me weary and on edge.  I had to give in to a few crying spells, and I spent alot of time alone in prayers, meditations and reflections.

TODAY, typically, a Sunday is a church day for me. This is critical to who I am.  It is amazing to worship and share energy and testimony with a body of like believers!  However, yes, I had this afternoon "off duty".  But I drove 310 miles to get here under a load.

Finally!  Set the brake on the Jacksonville Terminal yard about 2pm, bobtail, off duty until sometime Monday.  I turned down more gig offers for today.  I had a secret.  I had an appointment for a MASSAGE!

WOW!!! Let me say it again, WOW!  90 minutes Swedish massage, specifically I requested a deeper, firmer touch. Lavendar aromatherapy, reflexology, with a large portion of the time focussing on my tight "driver muscle" areas of neck, shoulders, and lower back.  Loved the scented oils slicked all over me, and the sensual, loving touch!!!

As a matter of fact?  I loved it so much I bought MYSELF a Mother's Day gift.  I prepaid for another 90 minute massage, with 3 elevations : Hot Stone Massage”, with our Hot-Towel/Cold Stone Face Massage and Sugar Foot Scrub, The gift she will remember forever, our Mom’s Melt Away which takes her away with a 90 minute massage and all 3 of our Elevations (listed above). Every Mother’s Day package features our Signature “Relax” Aromatherapy – a soothing blend of Lavender, Grapefruit, and Ylang Ylang.


I will make an appointment in the future to redeem this generous gift to myself.  See? I am a mother.  But I will be spending Mother's Day 2011 by myself.  My two daughters will be reuniting in Colorado.  What a WONDERFUL gift to this mother's heart to know that Uncle Michael, Angel, Alisha, and Jeremiah will be making headway along the Reunion, Reconcilliation, Reconnect pathways!!!!  I could not be happier or more at peace!

At this point in my life, the time cycle has come full circle.  I have family that are all about their own business.  It is up to me to take care of my own needs, wants and desires.  Thus, the gift of massage.  If you know me, you know how hard the original decison to spend my money on myself is.  Yet, I am pleased with my choice today!!!  I deserve this time of paying someone to lovingly care for me and my body.

After I was limp and relaxed, I walked to a pond with a 2 fountains.  There I sat in meditation pose, soft focus on the misty spray, soaking in the gentle 6pm North Florida sunlight, and enjoying a few birds walking around the shoreline. The next gift to me was a 40 minute phone call with my Angel.

Suddenly, I realized the new Madea movie was out, and I was in the plaza with a 20 screen theater.  I jumped up and raced over. While in line for my ticket, I noticed the Fast and Furious Five!!!  WOW!!!  THAT WAS PERFECT!!! I got my adrenaline, humor, sexy men and FAST CARS fix!!!  the auditorium was almost packed, and with a room full of strangers we travelled around the world and cheered on the cast we have grown to love over the years!!!  WHAT A GREAT ADDITION TO MY JAN-DAY!!!

Now, I am relaxed, psyched, and ready to sleep deeply cuddled up next to my newest acqusition, a body pillow making its maiden snooze with me tonight.

Tomorrow may come, and will take care of itself.  I spent several hours on myself, enjoying the revitalization that comes only from obeying "A Day Of Rest".

Peacefully smiling,
Jan M. Olsen
~J~