Essence

Essence
I shall be at peace when the lion within can lie down with the lamb.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

What A Song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2diIeBEmvWw
Five Finger Death Punch-"Far From Home"

Great song in a great album, enjoy. [Lyrics] Verse 1 Another day in this carnival of souls Another nights ends, end as quickly as it goes The memories are shadows; ink on the page And i can't seem to find my way home Chorus And it's almost like Your heaven's trying everything You.......

Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them. Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891 Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 - 1900

Moved a weight around in my chest. It's still there. It just shifted. Not sure what to do or where to go next.
Was COMPLETELY blindsided. And OH!! I hate being snuck up on!!!

Wow,,, go to sleep now? Riiiiight.
jmo
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The episode of my favorite TV show that I watched, tonight it wasn't about the murders this time. It was about the family of the killer.
In the end, an adult woman whose father was a serial killer  when she was in elementary school,  asked what was wrong with her that she couldn't hate her father?

This hit me soooo hard!  I ask myself ALL THE TIME
 "HOW can you forgive your dad?"

"WHY can't you forgive your mother?"

Both haunt me.  I can forgive so much,, and I do try,, to forgive her, even thought she is freaking clueless and still turns her back to me.  The correct order of roles was reversed somehow?  I had to protect HER??!!  WTH!

I want peace,, especially before she goes,, but she doesn't know,, or care,,, that I have ought with her.

Once, when I was in junior high I asked her, what would she do if she knew Dad was doing something to Michael or me? Her response was swift, full of venom and distorted her features- "I WOULD KILL HIM!"

Well, alrighty then, *itch!!! YOU  chose to never be around!! YOU chose to drop me off!  YOU chose to not SEE me!!  YOU chose to not take care of things.... and YOU want to kill HIM!??!  Like Heck! 

So,,, i kept my silence...
In the TV episode tonight??? The daddy kills the mom.
UGH!!!!

No comments: