Is There Any Calgon In That Suitcase? Please, Take Me Away!

Listening to: "In The Arms Of The Angels" Sarah McLaughlin,,,and "Wild Thing" Tone Loc... kinda alllll over the place, dontcha think??  UGH!!!!

Been a very busy last few days.Alot of decisions to make.When it came right down to it?

 I chose to live my life among the living. 

I am going through with my plans to go see Alisha and my grandson.  Jeremiah turned 7 months old today, and I will get to meet the little dude for the first time in just a few short hours from right now, mark time, MARCH!

I am a list-maker.  So,, all this uncertainty,, all this hotwire, expedia, priceline, orbitz, direct websites and 1-800 numbers is giving me a colossal headache!!  Where you shave a penny here, it cost you a nickel in the fine print!!  I finally sat down just a few minutes ago, determined to not get up until I had a rental car reserved!!!!!!!   Aiyiyiyiyi YI YI YI!!

   Angel, I have joined you among the procrastinator ranks this time, Baby!  And btw,, i am uncomfortable with every second of it,, so,, don't look to pull me down into YOUR bucket, little Crab,, come up to the LIGHT!  Lol, j/k, love ya, Bugs!  Thanks for holding my arms up in battle, my little Warrior Dove!  The pay off is near at hand, my love!

Not much of a gal that gets out on vacation types very often?? I have no real idea how to navigate all those tools.  I decided to just go direct. That's what I did over a month ago when I bought my airline ticket from Southwest.

 It creeps me out to give my credit card number over the internet,, and let the fickle Finger Of Fate choose the merchant, location and ware for me!!  I opted for a slightly mid-size car,,, even though it will only be my daughter, the baby, and I?  And my suitcase??? this gives room for strollers, diaper bags,, and all the loot Jeremiah is about to score from his soft NanaJ - wry laugh!!!

I worked several days extra on this paycheck,, just so I CAN load his wagon!  It has been hard not to buy him gifts as I see them,, when I would have to pay shipping or luggage... sooooo,,, with supreme self-control, I am going to wait!  And take Momma and baby shopping together.

To be honest??? I don't even know what size he wears? What is his bedroom decorated like?  What does his mom and dad enjoy these days???

People??? I haven't even seen Alisha in THREE years...  from 18-21,,, I am sure she has changed.

I know I have :)

Then there's the small matter of where to sleep??? I want to just sleep in the car,, like I do my truck.  I think Pastor would not agree,,, as a matter of fact,, he counselled against it.  LOL. Tony, Alisha's husband,, will not let me in thier home.  So,,, any visiting will be done in a hotel, or out in town.  Reckon I will get a room...

In the words of the buzzards in Jungle Book, "Let's not start that again!!  Reservations??   PLEASE  my pea brain is maxxed out!!

I am just so grateful for this gift ,,, time and opportunity.  How wonderful the day when Alisha emailed me asking for my phone number.  I was training a new student, when we got stuck in New Mexico in a flash blizzard that closed I-40 for 4 days last January. Then THE CALL came in,, from a number I didnt recognize,, and a tearful, quivering voice on the other end, said, "Mommy?"

We cried that day, my girl and I,,, as I am crying now,, with washing tears of both relief and joy. 

I had faith that if I just waited for her,, and prayed,, and waited,,, and prayed,, and waited,,, that ONE day,,,

and it was worth it in the end to hear that ONE word - Mommy?

I had forgiven Alisha and Tony mere days after the split 3 years ago.

But I forgave myself with the mention of my name by my Happy Dancer.

OH!! What peace.... what release,,,,  what HOPE...

So here I am,,, under 24 hours from arriving in her town,, looking for a silly hotel to throw my money away to,,,,  not sure if I wil get to see her then?  If she will ask me to her job?  Or if we will first meet on Saturday?

I have a hope.... I need a few minutes with just Alisha,, without Jeremiah in her arms...  OMG I have got to hold her and look in her eyes and SEE and LET HER SEE my love,,,, I just have to!! It's been too long.

Then, throughout the weekend,, I need to be alone with Jeremiah,, just 5 minutes,, to annoint and pray over him, to give angels charge over him,, to instruct him to always love and honor and cherish both his mom and his dad forever.

So distracted at work today??? I ended up with THREE blue ink pens in my jeans back pocket and THREE pairs of sunglasses on my head!!! 

I slept 12 hours last night,, I could so easy go to bed right now,,, give in to the sad tears for my friend, the grateful tears for Angel, Alisha, Jeremiah and I ....  pray and just go to sleep.... I think a good sleep will be a GREAT start for this adventure!!!

I have less fever in my joints today.  It's been almost 3 weeks since I had those abominable injections and associated nausea.  No idea what my BP is,, but I can tell it is NOT at critical mass..

Instead, I am limp in heart and body.  Yawning with my mouth and my mind.

ii John v. 12- Having many things to write unto you, I would not write with paper and ink: but I trust to come unto you, and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.

Yearning, dreaming, thanking,
Jan M. Olsen
~J~
Ecclesiastes 3 The GRATITUDE- inducing verses highlighted in BLUE!

1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; (well HALLELUJAH FOR THESE TWO TIMES!!!))
5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.